Like a little Omen with your Outbreak? The sixth horror film under the Dark Castle Entertainment shingle, The Reaping takes investigative scientist Katherine (Hilary Swank) to Haven, La., to determine why the dirty little town’s river has turned red with blood. The locals blame a cute lil’ girl (AnnaSophia Robb) who looks as if she’s feral and has menstrual blood caked on her leg, but Katherine’s not so sure.
She’s a miracle-buster, after all, explaining away dozens of so-called religious occurrences with good ol’ scientific know-how. Her time in Haven may change all that, however, as frogs rain from the sky, flies swarm, lice propagate, cows die, locusts attack, Idris Elba takes off his shirt, yada yada yada – it’s as if the 10 biblical plagues are actually happening!
Stephen Hopkins’ film isn’t nearly as bad as its icy reception would lead you to believe. Okay, so it’s overly orange-looking and has an end scene that you can predict halfway through, but it’s fun enough and I’m always up for a movie in which fat people’s faces are covered with boils.
The one thing that does suck is the climax, in which Hopkins goes overboard on the special effects, bleeding every last drop from the budget. I liken it to when you go to Chili’s and pay with a gift certificate, and then the waiter tells you he can’t give you change, so you’re like, “Okay, I guess we’ll get the Molten Chocolate Cake, too.”
Moral: Never trust a British actor trying to wrangle a Bayou accent. —Rod Lott