Duel of the Brave Ones (1980)

Duel of the Brave Ones refers to two rival street gangs duking it out while a police sergeant searches for a missing piece of jade. Sounds serious, but it’s not; just how serious can you take a gang in which one member wears a shirt with all the colors of Mork from Ork’s suspenders and another one’s T reads, unthreateningly, “Sail”?

I never could tell exactly who was on whose side, but it didn’t hamper my enjoyment, especially when one fight involved a crate of oranges, an overweight bra vendor and music destined for inclusion on a NOW That’s What I Call Kooky compilation disc. (Later fights are all about flower pots, sawhorses and barbecue grilling accessories, with the end brawl taking place on a moving public bus.)

Duel is also noted for a large amount of nudity — and not just any nudity, mind you, but nudity with uncharacteristically large breasts for an Asian film. There’s about a 30-minute stretch where five minutes don’t go by without some woman either taking her clothes off or getting them ripped off. I especially enjoyed the sex scene intercut with some random guy riding a carousel. One gag has a comically cross-eyed janitor believing a woman has four boobs, and as he continues to watch her copulate, he penetrates his mouth with his own finger. Because he can.

I love the broken-English box copy on the DVD I have in hand — one that misspells Duel as Dual — even if it seems to describe a different movie: “These fighters pray for victory from the God of War, but who is the best? Their fists and kicks will decide. You are getting action on the Master Level!!” Do not argue with two exclamation points, because you will never win. —Rod Lott

Buy it at Amazon.

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