Usually, low-budget creature features oversell themselves. The British-born Spider in the Attic presents itself as a rare exception — but only because it has multiple spiders versus the singular promise of the title. In every other case, it disappoints as expected. The prologue shows scientist Dr. Zizerman (Chris Cordell, The Curse of Humpty Dumpty) pitching … Continue reading Spider in the Attic (2021)
Perhaps a more fitting title for the German horror flick Horrors of Spider Island should be Hard-Ons of Spider Island, as in between the scant spider-man — with great power comes great perversity! — there are fantastical amounts of Teutonic skin, sex and sand to keep even the most passive of viewers somewhat intrigued. Hot-shit … Continue reading Horrors of Spider Island (1960)
What has eight legs and a man shoving a lit Bunsen burner to his neck? The Legend of Spider Forest, far from legendary. While staying at a pub in a supposedly quaint English village, ascot-rocking painter/photographer Paul (Simon Brent, Love Is a Splendid Illusion) runs across an unusual young woman walking carefree through the woods. … Continue reading The Legend of Spider Forest (1971)
The Merrye children of Spider Baby don’t seem like they would have much to be merry about. The poor kids suffer from a rare neurological disorder particular to their bloodline. As a narrator helpfully tells us in the opening, at around the age of 10 or so Merrye family members regress to a “pre-human condition … Continue reading Spider Baby (1967)
Part of the Creature Features pentalogy of in-name-only remakes of AIP classics — in this case, Bert I. Gordon’s 1958 tarantula-on-the-loose tale — Earth vs. the Spider stars the bland Devon Gummersall (Independence Day) as comic-obsessed geek Quentin Kemmer, a security guard at a genetics lab wherein experiments are conducted on arachnids. In broad daylight, … Continue reading Earth vs. the Spider (2001)