BMX Bandits (1983)

On the cover its DVD, no less a cinematic authority than Quentin Tarantino is quoted as saying, “If we’d grown up in Australia, BMX Bandits would have been our Goonies.” There are two problems with this proposal. The first is that as far away and foreign as Australia may be, I strongly suspect the folks who grew up there consider The Goonies to be their Goonies. The second is that Quentin is one of those film nerds who likes to insist shitty movies are better than good movies, because anyone can like a good movie, but only a true connoisseur can appreciate a shitty one.

I’m one of those annoying film nerds, too, but even I wouldn’t go so far as to call BMX Bandits a forgotten or misunderstood classic. What it is is a well-shot, vibrantly colorful, low-budget kids’ movie filled with folks who sound funny when they talk and at least one future redheaded, botox-addicted, Aussie superstar.

Nicole Kidman stars as Judy, a 16 year-old BMX enthusiast who — along with her friends P.J. and Goose — gets caught up with bank robbers when the three of them “find” (that is to say, steal) the box of special walkie-talkies the (other, older) thieves need for their daring robbery. When the thieves kidnap Judy, P.J. and Goose band together with their town’s BMX-loving teens, bring down the bad guys and use the reward money to build the bike track of their dreams.

The characters are quite well-drawn and the boys’ obvious romantic affection for their gangly ginger friend is believably portrayed, but never allowed to supersede the plot or action. Special props have to go to director Brian Trenchard-Smith who does a lot with a little and managed to make a film that’s nowhere as memorable as The Goonies, but pretty damn good nonetheless. —Allan Mott

Buy it at Amazon.

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