Right after dropping dead at some whore’s house, the body of film legend Bruce Lee is taken by ambulance to the hospital, where an enterprising professor creates three duplicates from him using a machine that looks as complex as Milton Bradley’s handheld game Simon, wired to a spaghetti colander.
Although they look nothing like Lee, the prof christens them Bruce Lee 1, Bruce Lee 2 and Bruce Lee 3. (Eventually, one will go by the name of Chuck to avoid confusion.) They’re played by Dragon Lee, Bruce Le and Bruce Lai. Ladies and gentlemen, we give you … The Clones of Bruce Lee!
After training with Bolo Yeung and working out to the swiped strains of “Gonna Fly Now,” the trio is set out on secret missions. First, they bring down an “unscrupulous” gold-smuggling film producer. Then they are sent to Bangkok (Oriental city), where they must eliminate a doctor who has created a serum to turn humans into metal bronzemen, but only after ogling all the totally naked Thai whores. When the professor hears about the doc’s undoing, it angers him, so he attempts to pit the three clones against one another, in order to find the best fighter so that he can rule the world.
Despite all the kicking and full-frontal nudity, Clones is mind-numbingly repetitive and tough to follow. Although the concept might lead you to believe otherwise, this is not Bruceploitation at its most enjoyable or its most outrageous. —Rod Lott