When the Canadian horror film Ghostkeeper first hit U.S. home video, the box art depicted some sort of demon chicken that, naturally, isn’t anywhere to be found. I cry fowl — er, foul — on the title, too, because Ghostkeeper also has no real ghost.
It does have a genuine keeper in the first scene, however: a shopkeeper whom our lead characters derisively call “Gramps,” yet he warns them of an oncoming storm anyway. Those young people who should know better are three snowmobilers out having New Year’s fun. Per the “Surf City” rule, there are two girls for every boy, and the dumber of the females says, “How can mountains be dangerous? They’re so beautiful.” (Later, she relates that one time in 10th grade where she indulged in her prostitution fantasy.)
Making their way through the powder, they have to climb up to a seemingly abandoned lodge for shelter. Per all ’80s fright flicks, two clichés occur quickly: A cat jumps out of nowhere, and the smarter woman (Riva Spier, Rabid) says, “I think there’s somebody else here.” She’s right! It’s an old woman with stringy hair and a perpetual frown (Georgie Collins, TV’s Lonesome Dove: The Series). She lives there with her son and a “windigo”; the latter resides in the basement, but both kill people for a hobby.
In this case, the evil is more a supernatural force than a bloodthirsty creature, but you’ll hardly notice, because next to nothing happens. Snowy locales can make excellent settings for scary movies — see: The Shining — but scenery is all this pile of Canuck crap has going for it. I’m all for slow-burners, but Ghostkeeper is just a slow-starter that never reaches a modicum of momentum, and there’s a huge difference. —Rod Lott