Teenage Confidential (1986)

teenconfidentialWTFSimilar in nature and spirit to his Sleazemania trilogy, Johnny Legend’s Teenage Confidential slaps together clips from and previews of 1950s teenpics and educational shorts. Heavy on the JD angle, the whole shebang is a fairly brisk 53 minutes, daddy-o.

Scare films kick it off, with The Birth of Juvenile Delinquency and the National Probation Association’s Boy in Court, in which churchgoing is a solution for reforming the budding car thief. The old-time religion is layered thicker in Satan Was a Teenager, arguably this program’s highlight, in which the clueless, suburban, honky parents decide to turn to God to rehabilitate the criminal fruit of their loins … but have to consult their Aunt Jemima-esque maid to find out how.

teenconfidential1Previews include obscurities (Curfew Breakers), chart-top musicals (Carnival Rock), cheap horror (The Giant Gila Monster), cheaper sci-fi (Teenagers from Outer Space), Ed Wood entries (The Violent Years) and Arch Hall Jr. vehicles (Wild Guitar). Somewhere in between, Tab Hunter addresses the camera to discuss mental illness, only to disappoint by disappearing within seconds.

Confidential-ly speaking, this compilation isn’t as much fun as even the weakest Sleazemania. It does have moments that mitigate a suggested carelessness in assembly. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

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