Hollywood High (1976)

Straight from the Liberal Household Arts Building and into your lap come the four girls of Hollywood High. Their names are unimportant, because the girls are interchangeable, save for the only one (Rae Sperling, Game Show Models) who would earn a second glance from Russ Meyer.

This toke-and-poke sex comedy is lewd, crude and best left unviewed. The only directorial effort from beefy, prolific character actor Patrick Wright (Cannonball!, Graduation Day, Savage Harbor, et al.) carries no credited writer, which makes sense because it also carries no story. The movie is simply a string of interminable, music-backed scenes of the quasi-foxy foursome driving in a jalopy, jumping in the surf, making out, getting defiled, incorrectly chugging beers and having a food fight at that drive-in spaghetti joint.

Wandering into the picture are a screamingly gay teacher (Hack-O-Lantern’s Hy Pyke) who teaches Greek (get it?), a greaser named Fenzie (get it?), a little person named Big Dick (get it?) and a Mae West caricature named June East (get it?). For the record, the other three girls are played by Susanne Severeid, whose credits include Don’t Answer the Phone!; Sherry Hardin, whose only other credit is Ted V. Mikels’ 10 Violent Women; and Marcy Albrecht, who has no other credits, which is the way it should be.

In the final shot, each girl looks at the camera and takes a turn pronouncing one word apiece from the line “This is the end.” Enough, we get it. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

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