William Girdler’s Grizzly was such a profit-churner in 1976 that another outing for the killer bear was just a matter of time. But 37 years’ time?
Shot in Hungary in 1983, but held up first by money troubles and then pure indifference, Grizzly II: Revenge finally saw the light of day in 2020 — a gap the film touts as a positive with Selznickian aplomb. It’s only by the grace of God — or Suzanne C. Nagy (who confusingly credits herself as producer and executive producer) — giving director André Szöts’ only feature some finishing touches. Those amount to:
• shooting a musical performance in close-up and against black so she didn’t have to worry about matching backgrounds
• grabbing sound effects from YouTube
• adding visual effects as unconvincing as Birdemic’s
• and padding generously with stock footage from Adobe Stock, iStock, Shutterstock, Getty Images and more, to get this thing over the magic 70-minute mark
Her bananas patchwork is like nothing you’ve seen. Unless, of course, part of your day is hallucinating things like Raiders of the Lost Ark’s John Rhys-Davies in Crazed Davy Crockett mode, ominously growling lines such as “You got the devil bear!”
By an enormous stroke of luck, Grizzly II opens with a troika of pre-A-list celebs in Academy Award winner George Clooney, Academy Award winner Laura Dern and HIV winner Charlie Sheen, playing friends hiking their way to the big rock concert at Yellowstone Park. After setting up camp for the night, Clooney and Dern get frisky, leaving Sheen (who resembles Jason Schwartzman) as the third wheel. No matter, because five minutes in, the future stars are dead, killed by an uncommonly tall bear presumably angry for its poached cubs.
With the grizzly on the loose, out for vengeance and often depicted with a limited-articulation puppet, the park’s most principled ranger (Steve Inwood, Staying Alive) and its “director of bear management” (Deborah Raffin, Death Wish 3) think maybe having tens of thousands of people gathered for an outdoor concert isn’t the greatest idea. Coming from the Mayor Larry Vaughn School of Decision-Making, however, park boss Draygon (Louise Fletcher, Exorcist II: The Heretic) disagrees. The final scene is a riot, in both senses of the word.
If only Draygon listened to reason, many lives would be spared … but we wouldn’t have a movie. Then again, whether we have one now depends on your criteria for calling each scene complete, as Nagy has taken so many shortcuts to deliver her Revenge, the titular carnivorous mammal has no time to shit in the woods. Unfortunately, not enough are taken — shortcuts, not shits — where viewers will wish Grizzly II had: during Yellowstone’s would-be Woodstock. I mean, whatta lineup: Toto Coelo! Set the Tone! The Dayz! Landscape III! Korlátolt Felelősségű Társaság! —Rod Lott