Steel (1997)

Hoopster Shaquille O’Neal’s efforts to become a matinee idol didn’t exactly pan out. The basketball drama Blue Chips didn’t score with moviegoers. What little audiences Kazaam had, it was one genie they wanted to put back in the bottle. And Steel, based upon a DC Comics character I hadn’t heard of until then, was too cheesy for the average action-seeking bear, not to mention too early, arriving before obscure, D-list superheroes became bankable. At least it’s watchable.

Shaq stars as John Henry Irons, a weapons specialist who quits the Army, only to find the deadly, sonic-boom tech he turned his back on has turned up in the hands of gangs on his hometown streets. It’s all about the Benjamins. Judd Nelson (Relentless) and his sneering nostrils fill the role of preppy villain, tailor-made for over-the-top hamminess — a bar Nelson easily clears.

To combat the undesirable element, Irons fashions himself a suit of bulletproof armor and carries a big-ass hammer, both made of steel. Hence, the name Steel. This would-be superhero is aided by his handicapable scientific genius/love interest Sparky (Annabeth Gish, Shag) and a white-bearded Richard Roundtree (1971’s Shaft). The latter thoroughly embarrasses himself by saying, “I’d boogie ’round that like a Soul Train dancer,” then doubles down with, “Well, dip me in shit and roll me in bread crumbs!”

As a writer and director, Kenneth Johnson is responsible for some of American television’s sharpest science-fiction series, including V, The Incredible Hulk and Alien Nation. But he’s also responsible for this dumb-as-rocks adaptation. Nonetheless, Steel manages to squeeze entertainment value from nearly its entire running time. Many references to fellow DC superheroes Superman and Batman are made, in between a running joke of Shaq’s character being unable to make a basket. A subplot hinges on whether Steel’s stereotypical granny can make a soufflé. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

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