At what point did “massacre” start to denote self-aware slasher parodies and homages rather than slashers themselves? In this site’s lifetime, we’ve seen such instances as Camp Massacre, The Puppet Monster Massacre and even Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre. Lone Star-set sequels notwithstanding, the word’s heyday of chainsaws and meat cleavers is over; once you’ve hit Pillow Party Massacre, all power is lost.
Ironically, Pillow Party-er writer/director Calvin Morie McCarthy raises the point without fully realizing his movie is part of the problem. That’s not to say your 87 minutes will be wasted, but this Massacre could stand more clarity in its aims; often, it’s difficult to tell on which side McCarthy stands: silliness or slaughter. I’m voting the latter because while the film is full of gore, I laughed just once: “No, we grew up and developed real drug habits,” says Chynna Rae Shurts (Exorcism in Utero), refusing a spliff.
With the killer’s identity even more obvious than the title is alliterative, four female college students rent a lake house for a weekend in the woods. (Well, technically five girls, but the one who arrives first is stabbed through the eye immediately after a side-boob shower.) Two years have passed since they played a cruel prank on a high school classmate who then was institutionalized, and only the mean girls’ leader (Laura Welsh, Christmas Freak) feels any remorse.
Will that work in her favor when a patient breaks out of the nearby psychiatric hospital? Only the homicidal maniac in a black robe and Death Note-esque mask knows for sure!
None of Pillow Party Massacre is not by-the-numbers. Its slow stride needs some pep, but McCarthy succeeds where deliberate viewers most likely will want him to: pulling off the death scenes. Or maybe that’s second on their list after nudity. In case you’re curious, Pillow Party contains a pillow fight (although by happenstance), presented in a music-scored montage. Why, yes, fistfuls of down feathers do fall in slow motion — how’d you know? —Rod Lott