Look, up in the sky! It’s a turd! It’s a shame! It’s Supersonic Man!
And it’s a must-watch for those who enjoy a foreign-born larceny of an American blockbuster, with this bane-from-Spain import courtesy of Pod People progenitor Juan Piquer Simón. His Supersonic Man wouldn’t exist without 1978’s Superman, the iconic sci-fi fantasy that made us believe a man could fly. By contrast, Supersonic Man reinstills all doubt. ¡Viva España!
To save the planet Earth, aliens send one of their own, in the “almost invincible” human form of Paul (Antonio Cantafora, Demons 2), a reporter with a pornstache and a nifty watch. Whenever Paul presses it — the watch, just to clarify — and speaks the magical phrase, “May the force of the galaxies go with you,” two things happen:
1. Shazam!-style, he instantly turns into the superhero named Supersonic (no “Man,” thank you), noticeably buffer and vibrantly costumed, including a blue tint on what little of his face remains exposed.
2. Viewers realize Simón was not content cashing in on Superman, so he went for Star Wars, too.
Supersonic’s Lex Luthor is Dr. Gulik (Cameron Mitchell, Night Train to Terror), a madman who wants nothing more than to get his evil hands on a formula that will transform lasers into death rays. As it just so happens, Professor Morgan (José María Caffarel of Simón’s Jules Verne adaptation, The Fabulous Journey to the Centre of the Earth) is close to completing said formula, so Gulik commands his minions in color-coded jumpsuits and one boxy, slow-moving robot to kidnap the friendly scientist and hold him ransom for the Dr. Evil-esque sum of $5,000!
Meanwhile, this turn of events puts Morgan’s single and sexually available daughter, Patricia (Diana Polakov, The People Who Own the Dark), in danger, so Paul inserts himself into the picture in order to protect her. Initially, she resists, because she doesn’t talk to strangers. “Stranger? I’m Paul!” he responds, as if that says everything. “I’m no stranger!” He’s also the one and only Supersonic, so Patricia unknowingly gets the best of both worlds: free dinner at a French restaurant, and being saved from a head-on collision with a steamroller.
When Paul becomes his alter ego (portrayed by José Luis Ayestarán, star of a couple of unofficial Tarzan pics), Supersonic Man naturally stands at its shoddiest and most stirring. Although the likes of corrosive gases and hot lava prove no match, he is felled by a pool cue to the noggin. When Supersonic is put through a ringer of challenges as he attempts infiltration of his archenemy’s lair, Dr. Gulik manically claps and laughs like the half-senile idiot he fully resembles. You very well may do the same — if not then, perhaps during the chase scene involving a Volkswagen Bug, the appearance of a killer shark for no good reason, a recurring gag with an alcoholic bum, any of many green-screen depictions of flight or … hell, the film’s entirety. For sheer entertainment, it beats the $225-million Man of Steel any day. —Rod Lott